Dear cute guy with chinny-dimple I often see at Sainsbury's ( Read more... )

Dear Channel 4 and E4,

Do you have a new drama called Skins starting soon? I ask because there was a single ad break in the last month when you failed to trail it. I'm sure I also saw a bus stop without a poster advertising it, and some websites without a banner pointing me to the Skins MySpace. Naturally, this has left me confused as to whether ( Read more... )

Since I'm in an open letter-writing mood, and apropos absolutely nothing whatsoever ( Read more... )

Office workers! A few handy hints to minimise the risk of your colleagues ripping your head off with their bare hands.

ONE If you ask a colleague "Did you deal with this customer who's on the phone and has called back?" and get the reply "Yes but hang on just 30 seconds 'cause I'm in the middle of something and need to concentrate on it," the ( Read more... )

To the man sitting on the 199 bus behind me on the way into work today: That amount of belching just isn't normal. For about ten solid minutes there was a constant soundtrack to my journey of deep rumbling noises - not just little burps but huge, from-the-gut belches. As soon as another seat was available I took it, not so much because I was ( Read more... )

Dear staff of Birthdays greeting card shop in Greenwich,

Don't think I'm not on to you. I have actually noticed that you're closing earlier and earlier every day. So early in fact that, despite reaching your front door a quarter of an hour before your advertised closing time, the aforementioned front door was locked. With Mother's Day coming up on ( Read more... )

An open letter to the people who were sitting behind me on the bus on my way home from the pub last night. As you can probably tell from the previous post I was feeling slightly more "gay pride" than usual at the time ( Read more... )